worst parenting mistakes

Top 10 Parenting Mistakes Which We Should Avoid

Parenting means developing of habitual mind. The learning journey starts with the birth of the child. In this journey, parents are the first teachers. What we as a child learn from our parents stay with us in our whole life. But parents do some of the worst parenting mistakes which affect the whole life of the child. Studies show that 95% of our habitual mind develops by the age of 7. That’s why parents play an important role in the success and failure of a child’s life. To do effective parenting, we have compiled the top 10 worst parenting mistakes parents do.

Without further ado, Let dive straight into it.

10 Worst Parenting Mistakes Which We Should Avoid

 

1. Competitive Vs Collaborative

One of the biggest mistakes parents do in the upbringing of their child is training them as a competitor rather than as a collaborator. We teach them that you have to do top in your academics and the only way to do this is by defeating everyone else in the class. It develops a sense of rivalry in children. He started seeing everyone as a competitor and can not become a good friend in his whole life. This ultimately leads a child to social anxiety.

 

2. Trying to groom with advice

As  Paulo Coelho said:

“The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.” Click To Tweet

What most of the parents are doing is advising the things which they don’t follow. In the very beginning, the child is not familiar with words. He develops the ideas of good and bad through the gestures of his parents. If the father smokes then chances are high that the child will smoke too. But why most of the children don’t smoke while their parents do?

It’s because their parents don’t smoke in front of them in childhood or passing an unaccepted gesture towards smoking. Which child record as a bad habit and avoid to do it in life.

 

3. Choosing wrong measuring yard

Another big mistake parents do while parenting their children is measuring them with the wrong measuring yard. It means that we only focus on one aspect of success and judge the rest of the work on the basis of it. For example, we consider academic success like success, and the rest of all achievements are what we consider as secondary. We cheer up the child if he gets good grades and scolds the child if he fails to get good marks. 

Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. Click To Tweet

 

4. Train a devil then cry on its evil.

 A child’s behavior is a flower which their parents seeds. If your child has good ethics it’s because of you and the same in the case of having no ethics. In both cases, parents are the gardener of this garden. The mistake we are doing here is seeding cabbage and expecting an apple tree. Parents should take responsibility and proceed with accepting their mistakes rather than blaming others.

 

5th of 10 worst Parenting Mistakes

 

5. Setting up the wrong priority

Setting up wrong priorities ends up in ultimate disasters in one’s life. As I mentioned above that we judge our child by just one type of success. Just answer this question that what if your child has every material success but doesn’t have healthy relationships? What if he has good grades but bad health? What if he has everything but disobeys you? What if he can not convey his message effectively? Will you call him a successful being? Absolutely not. The biggest tragedy with us is that our definition of success is not complete. 

 

6. Focusing on IQ rather than EQ

Before 1995 people measure intelligence on the basis of mathematics and logical reasoning. Then came Emotional Intelligence Book by Daniel Goleman who said that the Emotional Quotient (EQ) matters more than IQ. EQ determines Self-management, Self-awareness, Social Awareness, and Relationship management. But we are still measuring our child’s intelligence on the basis of  IQ. Where recent studies have shown that every successful person has higher EQ. Moreover, there are 10 types of intelligence. These 10 intelligence mix up in different ratios and produce talent. 

 

7. Snatching decision making

By limiting the child to not ask the questions and just follow what their elders are saying leads the child towards a lack of decision making. That dictating behavior is what snatches the quality of questioning and thinking from the child. Parents do that because they seem questions as to their insult. They give their children a shut-up call and ask them to do what we are saying you to do because we are parents and we are the authority. This type of parenting leads to a lack of creativity in the child. Because of this child needs handholding support throughout his life. He can not make decisions on his own. He can not come out of problems on his own. Moreover, the worst you can do with your child is throwing him into a rat race.

 

8. Fulfilling your own dream using children’s life

Another biggest mistake by the parents is that they consider the life of their child as their own and try to fulfill their own unfulfilled desires through the life of their child. If you go and interview students outside an examination hall, you will find most of the students are studying what they don’t want to study. Some of them will afraid and think about what if we fail in the exam? What if we don’t get the expected marks? This all is because of pressure from their parents. Parents build a dream in their children by developing a sense of deprivation in them. 

 

9. Measuring child on basis of other people’s perceptions

Another biggest parenting mistake is defining and evaluating your child from people’s point of view. Without knowing these perceptions change and so is your child. It’s another wrong measuring yard through which you measure your child. As Maya Angelou said:

It is time for parents to teach young people that in diversity there is beauty and there is strength.” –Maya Angelou Click To Tweet

 

10. Communication Gap

The Last biggest mistake parents do is failing to communicate with their child. In life, the child goes through a lot. He wants to tell his problems to someone who does not judge him. Who pat on his shoulder and supports him. But due to communication gaps between him and his parents, he looks outside for friendly relationships. He then can be manipulated by other people because of his emotional attachment. He does not communicate with his parents because his parents will scold him and will not understand him by wearing his shoes.

Preach failure as you teach success. As both of them are part of life. - Umair Nisar. Click To Tweet

So, these were the top parenting mistakes we usually do. Comment down below which you are doing and also share it with your parents and friends to aware them of these mistakes.

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